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Public Service Announcement: Stay Away From the Squirrels

Don't think that squirrel isn't sneaking up on her...





























To the lady in this most-unflattering rearview shot, I apologize, but a public service announcement needs to be made and you were unfortunate enough to be in my way...

Let be known that the Cape Meares, Oregon, squirrels are psychotic and crazy!  To all who with plans to every visit there, I plead with you to heed this warning.  They will not be afraid of you.  No amount of shooing or pretend-cawing or stamping or running away is going to deter them.  They want your food and your sandal-clad toes and aren't going to stop at any cost.

Don't bring a picnic lunch with the idyllic dream of sitting on this beautiful bench overlooking the most beautiful ocean view you've ever seen.  They will jump up behind you and stick their paws straight into your yogurt.

Don't give your kids anything.  Period. No food.  What kid have you ever met that doesn't drop their food on the ground while they're eating.  Let them eat and you're guaranteed to have rodents crawling over their own sandal-clad feet trying to get what's underneath.  Which leads us to my next advice...

Forget all notions you have of teaching your children that all God's creations need  love.  You need to share every horrible story you know about rabies and scabies and squirrels having babies.  Put the fear in them before they reach down and try to pet the very creature that's giving you clinical anxiety.

Do not think you'll be safe in the car.  Think about it.  Vacation, children, fast food addiction.  Your car is a ticking time bomb for squirrels with erratic behavior.  Open a door even a smidgen and you've invited in the entire crazy squirrel family.

And last but not least,

Leave your non-thinking, sleep-deprived, fairy tale tourist brain at home!  (This may also be loosely translated as your elderly)  Would you run out in your backyard shaking Ho-Ho's and peanut butter sandwich crumbs at the animals creeping through your trees?  If they were fat enough to carry away your youngest child (or grandchild), does it really seem like they need to have any more?  And if you see a frazzled mother running away from something with 4 kids in arms, could you maybe stop to see what's stalking her, rather than calling out, "Honey, Dear, KARL, here it comes, take my picture!"

Maybe I  write with too much emotion.  I didn't have any warning of the danger and peril I would be putting my family in on an innocent side trip to the sea.  There were no signs posted and no kind strangers giving the signal to beware.  Take it as my duty, to warn you, that the Cape Meares squirrels are not to be reckoned with.  This is my testimony:  If you get to close, they WILL try to carry you away!

Comments

  1. Terry My Journey With CandidaApril 23, 2014 at 12:03 PM

    Squirrels can be MEAN. They have really sharp teeth and I don't want to mess with them. I will heed your warning.

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  2. Wow......I never saw a squirrel that aggressive......but then again.....I do keep my distance

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  3. I don't think I have ever been afraid of squirrels until now :P Consider me, officially warned! Thanks for the heads up

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  4. HA! Well, I live in Florida, and I once had a squirrel run UP my leg as I was rustling through bags in my car's trunk. I guess he thought I had food. Scared me so badly I knocked him off me with a water bottle LOL Poor thing!

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  5. I think I would have been so startled, he'd have hurled halfway down the block!

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  6. Gosh squirrels have always seemed such timid creatures to me! I'm going to keep a wider distance though just in case. x

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  7. Oh my, I would be tirrified! I am so afraid of squirrel. To think people actually eat them creeps me out.

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  8. Lorraine WilliamsonApril 23, 2014 at 2:37 PM

    omg I am definitely fore warned thanks for the heads up.

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  9. You don't have to tell me. We've got two big acorn trees (I'm talking BIG) in the front yard, and they constantly make nests in my car and store their acorns in every open spot, including the a/c box. My mechanic cringes when I come in because he knows there's going to be nests in the car. I've paid about (7) times to have the car fixed from nut storage. Nothing deters them either. *sigh* I used to think they were cute. ;)

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  10. LOL!! This post is so funny! I understand the seriousness and the warnings you heed, but the thought of killers squirrels is too funny!

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  11. Reminds me of the Canadian geese they pitty no one and will nip at anyone with food.

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  12. This reminds me of the seagulls on Clearwater Beach. I've seen them rip whole sandwiches out of the hands of kids and adults alike.

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  13. Danielle (Todays The Best Day)April 23, 2014 at 4:25 PM

    Oh my gosh!! How scary!!! I do not like that they are so aggressive and mean!

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  14. The squirrels on the national mall in Washington DC are super bold. I got chased into a bathroom by one once. It was scary because I thought it was going to attack me.

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  15. Alexandra McAllisterApril 23, 2014 at 5:51 PM

    I had no idea they were so aggressive! I am one who feeds squirrels and they are friendly and have never done anything except sit and wait for their treat.

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  16. My friends call me the squirrel whisperer; they are super friendly and the only reason they'd attack you is if they sense hostility. Can't blame the squirrel.

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  17. JadeLouise DesignsApril 23, 2014 at 8:00 PM

    oh my goodness, that is so funny...yet...not funny. It must be a geographical thing. Our Squirrels in our area are scared of people and nothing to worry about. It's good to know not to take the same attitude with them if I visit your neck of the woods. Amber E.

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  18. that is too funny! You totally got photo bombed by a squirrel. I have one that visits me everyday at work but he won't ever let me take a picture.

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  19. Squirrels are nuts. I have one that terrorizes me all the time. It's annoying. they are evil!

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  20. Lol, I don't mess with squirrels. Here in NYC, the squirrels have no fear of humans and will get up in your face to taste a piece of your food.

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  21. I have never met an aggressive squirrel before. I am guilty of throwing nuts out in my yard for them. I will think twice being that we just moved and I know nothing about the ones here except that they are twice the size as the ones back home. Back home they feared us even though I put out nuts, they were never around to see it was a human doing it, they just enjoyed the gift left for them.

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  22. Liz @ A Nut in a NutshellApril 23, 2014 at 11:15 PM

    What the heck? I've never heard of squirrels being so in your face before!

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  23. Onica {MommyFactor}April 24, 2014 at 5:08 AM

    Oh my goodness. That's a little bit scary. Shame that the squirrels there have gotten use to eating human food and now will be so bold about getting it.

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  24. I've never heard of squirrels being so fearless! Guess I will have to watch my back from now on! :)

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  25. I've met aggressive squirrels; I feel your pain. And don't get me started on aggressive geese!

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  26. That's crazy - I would never want a squirrel that close to me!

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  27. Wow I've never heard about a squirel being aggressive. that would be scary.

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  28. Oh my gosh! Who knew squirrels were so out of control! Scary!

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  29. CRAZY SQUIRRELS!!! I have tons in my backyard and they aren't afraid of me. Maybe all the squirrels in the world are ganging up on us.

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  30. SQUIRREL!
    My aunt would like this post;she HATES squirrels and runs when she sees them.

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  31. I admit as the author said that this Lake is a haven for
    wildlife. The Great Salt Lake is the largest of the lake leftovers of early
    freshwater Lake Bonneville, the others being Bear Lake, on the Utah-Idaho
    border, and Utah Lake, west of Provo, Utah. It’s the largest inland body of
    salt water in the Western Hemisphere and one of the most saline inland bodies
    of water in the world. I went there before my grand canyon tour from
    los angeles
    . After a short walk along the shore, my friend and I got
    into the water. The water was so warm and nice, and floating in the lake is
    extremely relaxing. I would recommend anyone visit the Great Salt Lake.

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  32. I always loved squirrels (being an Australian who'd never seen one til she moved to canada - we don't have them in Australia). But, I did have an experience with some nsty ones in California! They actually threw a nut at me and tried to chase me away from my sandwich - that I was eating! It was half hilarious, half perturbing.

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  33. No squirrels in Australia? This is fascinating to me! What did you do to finally get the pesky California squirrel to leave you alone?

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  34. No squirrels in Australia? This is fascinating to me! What did you do to finally get the pesky California squirrel to leave you alone?

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