Public Service Announcement: Stay Away From the Squirrels

Don't think that squirrel isn't sneaking up on her...

To the lady in this most-unflattering rearview shot, I apologize, but a public service announcement needs to be made and you were unfortunate enough to be in my way...

Let be known that the Cape Meares, Oregon, squirrels are psychotic and crazy!  To all who with plans to every visit there, I plead with you to heed this warning.  They will not be afraid of you.  No amount of shooing or pretend-cawing or stamping or running away is going to deter them.  They want your food and your sandal-clad toes and aren't going to stop at any cost.

Don't bring a picnic lunch with the idyllic dream of sitting on this beautiful bench overlooking the most beautiful ocean view you've ever seen.  They will jump up behind you and stick their paws straight into your yogurt.

Don't give your kids anything.  Period. No food.  What kid have you ever met that doesn't drop their food on the ground while they're eating.  Let them eat and you're guaranteed to have rodents crawling over their own sandal-clad feet trying to get what's underneath.  Which leads us to my next advice...

Forget all notions you have of teaching your children that all God's creations need  love.  You need to share every horrible story you know about rabies and scabies and squirrels having babies.  Put the fear in them before they reach down and try to pet the very creature that's giving you clinical anxiety.

Do not think you'll be safe in the car.  Think about it.  Vacation, children, fast food addiction.  Your car is a ticking time bomb for squirrels with erratic behavior.  Open a door even a smidgen and you've invited in the entire crazy squirrel family.

And last but not least,

Leave your non-thinking, sleep-deprived, fairy tale tourist brain at home!  (This may also be loosely translated as your elderly)  Would you run out in your backyard shaking Ho-Ho's and peanut butter sandwich crumbs at the animals creeping through your trees?  If they were fat enough to carry away your youngest child (or grandchild), does it really seem like they need to have any more?  And if you see a frazzled mother running away from something with 4 kids in arms, could you maybe stop to see what's stalking her, rather than calling out, "Honey, Dear, KARL, here it comes, take my picture!"

Maybe I  write with too much emotion.  I didn't have any warning of the danger and peril I would be putting my family in on an innocent side trip to the sea.  There were no signs posted and no kind strangers giving the signal to beware.  Take it as my duty, to warn you, that the Cape Meares squirrels are not to be reckoned with.  This is my testimony:  If you get to close, they WILL try to carry you away!

Road-Trip Ramblings #4 Walmart is NOT on Every Corner...

My #1 tip for packing for vacation has always been, "Don't worry about what you forget.  There will always be a Walmart."  I've learned my lesson and will never say it again!

We decided at the very last minute last Memorial Day Weekend to pack up the car and drive to southern Utah for a whirlwind road trip.  I needed to take pictures for an article I was writing on alternative destinations to the national parks, and the weather had finally cleared up enough to keep us from drowning. Within one hour we'd loaded the camping gear, thrown some clothes into a bag, and grabbed a little food.  I'd occasionally called out to the kids, "Get your shoes on," or  "Grab some books," and theneventually, "Time to get in the car!"  They all loaded in.  We backed out the driveway, and were on our way.  It wasn't until we piled out of the van at a sand-covered camping site three hours later that we discovered the problem.

Take a guess.  Really think for a moment what a child might be responsible for, and then forget to bring with him as he's jumping in the car for an out-of-town trip.  In the hustle and bustle of getting ready, P dutifully obeyed the instruction to get in the car.  Not such a good listener when it came to something else very important I'd asked him to do.  For our epic camping/hiking exploring road-trip, my 5-yr-old brought...no...shoes!

No shoes while you're camping?  Ok, that's no so bad.  Our kids run around in their bare feet all the time anyway.

No shoes at the national park visitor center?  Ok, we'll run in real fast and hope no one is paying attention.

Totally not wearing shoes while he takes his Junior Ranger oath

No shoes climbing over rocks on the edge of sheer rock cliff?  Ok, Mom is REALLY not feeling good about this.

No shoes when we climb to 10,000 feet and want to go hiking in the snow?  N-O-T O-K!

Not to mention walking through park shops, stopping to eat at funky small town restaurants, having to carry him into a gas station public restroom. ..

My reaction even at the end of the weekend could still be described as confused stupor.  How do you get in the car for a weekend road-trip without any shoes?  My husband, of course, took it all in stride.  He kept P off of nasty bathroom floors by letting him stand on Dad's feet.  He tried to fashion shoes out of diner french fry trays and string.  Even when I got to the point where thinking about it made me start laughing uncontrollably, he had the attitude that, "Hey, maybe this has also happened to me a time or two..."

There we were, packed but with something forgotten and without a Walmart anywhere to be seen. We racked up a total of 10 hours in driving time that weekend, going from destination to destination with not one single supercenter looming on the horizon.  Any other post and I'd be telling you that's exactly why we love southern Utah.  This time I'm still just shaking my head in disbelief...

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